I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
