there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
