Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Non-Jews are for practice
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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