He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
