I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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