Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
