i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
