i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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