singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
