i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize