It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
