You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
