I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
