What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
