Define "chronic" masturbator.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
