walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
