I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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