is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
