fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
