my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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