His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
