sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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