Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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