White coat. Heels.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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