JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
