I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
