I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
