it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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