I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
