What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
