butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
