I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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