Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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