I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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