are you still at the devil's house?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
