Non-Jews are for practice
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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