Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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