Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
