You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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