theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
