Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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