So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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