Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
