lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
