Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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