Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
