You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize