omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
