In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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