I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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