4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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