She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
