apparently the secret to your success is patron
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
We had sex on a dog bed..
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize