i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
