Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
