he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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