fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
