I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
