i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
