dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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