I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
