Sry I called you an 8
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
