All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
