I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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