my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize